Friday, November 20, 2009

Ass Crack Tales


I’m so hairy, I was getting a massage one time and she was working on my lower back. I’m like jello when I’m getting a rub down, and I’m loud, when it feels good I just let it rip, I’m like “Oh yeah” Get high pitched, “HOOO” You know, you’re face down on the mini face toilet seat thing. The first time I got a message, she hits me with, get undressed and lie on your stomach. I’m looking at the mini toilet like I don’t know whether to put my face on that thing or squat on it and squeeze one out. So anyway I’m getting this massage and about half way through she moved side to side on my lower back and tore from the roots, what must of been like a 12 inch long ass crack hair. She ripped that monster clean out, it felt like a knife fell on me blade down. I screamed like a little girl. Startled, she froze not knowing what happened. I quickly faked a soar rib and later thought to myself, How do you tell a person, “Oh the reason I yelped is because about an inch away from your bare hands right now, grows a sea of random ass crack hairs, one of them just got snagged on your knuckle. Sorry please continue...”

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