N WHAT SETTING DOES FULL CHEST TATTOO CLEAVAGE WORK?

I was in to buy a six pack of beer last week and once I got up to the register, A young girl kinda wide turns around and has a typical black tit shirt on, you know the thing with the thing anyway it’s low cut and the only reason I mention this is because, on her chest from shoulder to shoulder was a blue green and gold raven or eagle or hippopotamus I’m not sure it was just something breathing fire. Caught up in the whole thing I must have hesitated probably with a weird look on my face and after about a moment of mouth open pondering I look up and there’s like 7 pieces of shiny shit sticking out all over her face. One looked like a mini clock radio. I put the beer down and handed her money and she lifelessly hands me back change and doesn’t even say thanks or hello, or fuck you, anything would have been nice to just cut the tension of her pseudo disfigurement. I bit my tongue and didn’t say anything but inside it was a sea of one liners, I’d try to make small talk, but could only hear my brain heading towards meanville, “ Nice Tit Tat, what do you call it man repellent? Cover that up, I just had lunch. “ I mean what a commitment, at least children grow up and leave eventually. That stupid cartoon chest is there for life. I wanted to slap some sense in to her, what decent man in his right mind will ever go for that. She could be the best girl in the world. Ren and Stimpy in technicolor on your chest? You’re like 24 years old, anybody not sentenced of a felony is off your radar for good honey, you might as well have taken a frying pan to your face or better yet just lop off your tits and become Mike the gay tattoo dude who when he’s not spending all his time dry digging and ass cramming- spends most of his time punching holes in his face because that’s how individuals express themselves. Express themselves, what the hell is that. This is how I express myself, I wear fish hooks in my face, it means,.......it means......it mean you’re a fucking asshole. What were you thinking? I predict this very thing for you, you’re going to wake up someday you’ll be like 32 years old living in your mother’s basement working on your scowl for the day, and it’ll just hit you, You’ll look in the mirror, and say’ I’m tired of this charade, I wish I was rich...’ Your body is not a good place to make a statement, try having a personality.

Lets get one thing straight, reprimanding your kids loudly in public making sure everyone in the whole grocery store isle can hear how dedicated a mother you are is fucking disgusting. You know the, “What did Mommy tell you, you can push the cart as long as you don’t get ahead of me.” The fucking kid just smashed into your leg while you’re sizing up the salad dressing selection. “ You don’t want Mommy to get upset” Mommy upset? I’m the one over here with a half a shin, you stupid asshole. Hey I got an idea, why don’t you push the cart and keep your fucking monster on a lease. You don’t see me here pushing my chosen lifestyle on everyone within ear shot. You hear me staring at the dressings saying, “When’s the last time Thousand Island got me laid. I think it was that internet girl with one tit way bigger than the other.”

I’m all for good parenting, The grocery store or any public place for that matter is a gross time to sharpen up your parenting chops. It just lets me know that on top of being pathetic, you have no other identity. You’re the good mom. Why do you think he did a pump and run on you in the first place. Referring to yourself as Mommy when you’re talking to your kid is not cute. It’s fucking annoying. What you should do is pay more attention to the kids diet, you’re not doing that little butterball any favors by loading up the cart with twinkies and cheetos, and a gallon of ben and jerry’s and what ever else you got in there that went slamming into my leg. By the way that Nurse gown you’re rocking with the flowers on it is equally annoying. What’s the deal with nurses, I know you do a thankless job for mediocre pay but why do you parade around with the Nurse outfit still on after work? Don’t you guys have a changing room? Isn’t there like a thousand rooms in a hospital? Pick one and get out that shit- You don’t see Doctors rolling around town with their smocks on. I don’t get it?

Blog this you FFFFFFucking Assholes

Neighbors are a tough hang. I’ve just recently been domesticated and live in my first “ neighborhood “ in about 20 years. I’ve been squatting in apartments for years. And I’ll tell you, apartment people don’t fake niceties like they do in the suburbs. You’ll be out mowing the lawn and your neighbor will come over and pretend like they give a shit. Apartment life is much different. I can sum up the whole experience in one phrase “ MOVE your car, you fucking asshole. You know when you’re really mad you hold onto the FFF in Fucking Asshole. Try it right now, hold onto the ff a little. and then finish with asshole, which if you haven’t already guessed is my favorite word. You FFFFFucking asshole.

And what’s with these asshole and their fucking dogs. Jesus christ enough already with the fucking dogs. I’m not saying I hate dogs or I think they should be eaten in thailand or bully raped by Michael Vick and his band of morons. Just lighten up, to me hanging out with a dog is like hanging out with a mentally retarded person all day. It’s fun for a while and then just a pain in the ass. And these pricks will train their dogs to do little tricks and then tell you how smart they are. “Look at Bouser fetch, he’s so smart...” Give me a fucking break, That’s the same mangy bastard I saw nibbling on it’s own shit in the back yard twenty minutes ago. And you let that fucker sleep in your bed. You should Check yourself for the Aids for christ sake.